What if the opposite approach is better?
I am going to introduce what I like to call the Principle of Opposites where we respond and act in a way that is opposite to social norms.
Where looking at the opposite perspective may make more sense.
Philosophers have endeavored to conclude whether humans are inherently good or evil, and the debate continues.
However, practically speaking, do we have to control good or evil?
Do we have laws against doing good or doing bad?
If we are inherently good, why do we have to work so hard at being good?
I believe our human inclination is generally not to do the right thing. How many of you have ever had to teach your kids how to be selfish, lie, or blame someone else? We must teach them to do the opposite: to be unselfish, tell the truth, and take responsibility.
You might be familiar with these concepts:
GIVE, AND IT WILL BE GIVEN
IF YOU WANT TO BE FIRST, BE LAST
LOVE YOUR ENEMY
Let’s look at a few opposites in life that seem contrary to our human inclinations: loving the unlovely, forgiving the unforgivable, and being patient with the impatient. These are opposite to our natural inclinations, but when
intentionally applied, can benefit all.
LET’S LOOK AT THREE APPLICATIONS
1. PERSPECTIVE
An ancient proverb says, “Every case seems just until one examines the other side.” Understanding the Opposite perspective can significantly broaden your perspective.
What if we took the perspective of identifying the positive qualities of negative traits?
ANALYTICAL:
Excessive attention to detail, pickiness, calculating, and crankiness
DISCIPLINED
Rigidity, harshness, overbearing behavior, and inflexibility
2. DAILY LIFE
Reaching goals:
Focus on what you do want vs what you don’t want,
Focus on what you ARE going to do vs what you’re NOT going to do
I’m going to eat healthy food vs not going to eat junk food
I’m going to be early vs I’m not going to be late.
3. RELATIONSHIPS
The principle of opposites says if you want to have a friend, be a friend.
If I want to be interesting to others, I do the opposite by being interested in them.
Ask open-ended questions about them and their interests,
Instead of asking where you are from, try asking what brought you to this area. Instead of asking what you do for a living, try asking what do you live to do.
Seek to understand more than be understood by asking, “Would you explain what you mean by that”? “How did you come to that conclusion”?
We often think that if people would change, we could love them more. Consider the opposite; if you love them more, they will probably change.
The opposite principle says, When it comes to change, think of yourself, not others, when it comes to needs, think of others, not yourself.
In life and business, we have a tendency, a natural inclination, to
focus on our needs and our pain. Consider the opposite; focus on the needs and pain of others, and you’ll both feel better.
Sometimes, taking the opposite approach is best.
